The Top Ten things I learned from being in the hospital

There are worse things than getting an enema...Having your roommate get an enema for one.

Close the toilet lid before reaching over to wash your hands especially if your gown’s hem falls around your knees.

Cleanliness in a hospital is only as good as it’s housekeeping department.

Some people are not meant to be nurses.

Some people are not meant to be doctors.

ICU nurses are worth their weight in Remodulin (which is more expensive per oz than gold).

John F. Kennedy isn’t dead. His pleasure was to provide me with meals that met my specific dietary needs.

Stryker doesn’t just make an autopsy saw, they make beds too. They have you covered from start to finish.

Patients and their caregivers may know more about their disease process and the care necessary to sustain them than some health care professionals.

Time is critical. Sometimes just minutes mean life or death.