Will You Still Love Me?

“Will you still love me if I forget your name or who you are?”
“I would be sad, but I would still love you.”
“Will you still love me if I wander from home and forget where I am?”
“I would be worried, but I would still love you.”
“Will you still love me if I forget day or month it is?”
“I would tell you it is a beautiful day and I would still love you.”
“Will you still love me if I cannot dress myself or brush my teeth?”
“I will help you to dress and to brush your teeth and I would still love you.”
“Will you still love me when I am angry or depressed because I don’t understand what is happening to me?”
“I will understand, and I will still love you”
“Will you still love me when I cannot take care of my family? “
“I will take care of our family for you and I will still love you.”
“Will you still love me when I cannot taste your wonderful cooking?”
“I will continue to cook special foods for you and I will still love you.”
“Will you still love me when I cannot remember our wonderful life together?”
“I will tell you about our wonderful life together and I will still love you.”
“Will you still love me when I cannot walk?”
“I will carry you and I will still love you.”
“Will you still love me when I cannot sit?”
“I will hold you and I will still love you.”
“Will you still love me when I cannot smile at you?”
“I will smile for you and I will still love you.”
“Will you still love me if I don’t know the words to say I love you,?”
“I would be very, very sad, but I would love you more!

Dog days of summer

I love the summer and the heat. With Raynauds, I have an aversion to cold, cool, and lukewarm. And I love the sun. I hate rainy days as they make me depressed. The sun just makes me happy. Brian is happy to sit outside with me until it gets too hot. Kim and Wayne have such a nice backyard and deck that it is always calling to me. My vegees are doing great, tho I have only had one red tomato so far. I have a ton of green tomatoes and they will probably all turn red at once. Summer and home grown tomatoes....nothing better....and watching Kim and Jenny decorate a Christmas tree in the middle of July. Jenny’s Harry Potter party is next weekend. We see the movie and then party. The theme is Christmas time in pinks, lime green and aqua. Love the dog days of summer!

Time

Wayne and Kim and I are on a quest for information. If something should happen to me tomorrow and I needed my oxygen, Kim and Wayne don’t know how to use my oxygen tank. So I am writing down all the info I can for “in case of” and we are searching for other available help for Brian and I. Kim and Wayne go back to school the middle of next month. I may need some help for myself and for Brian soon, especially when I have doctor appointments. So we are finding out what community services are available to us. It has been almost a year since I was diagnosed with Pulmonary arterial hypertension. My doctor and I knew I had it before my heart cath but I put off the cath as long as I could. My DLCO on my pulmonary function tests a week a go is down, consistant with the prognosis for my pulmonary hypertension. I have used up almost a year of my time already. Time flies when you are having fun! So we are trying to get things in place for the care and help we will need in our future.
I have no problem talking about myself and my prognosis and what I will need. But it is so heart breaking to talk about Brian, my love and my soul mate. I had figured I would take care of him to the end of his disease process but that probably will not be a reality for me. I promised him I would take care of him. He is able to deal with Alzheimer’s because he knows I will take care of him. I pray for a cure or a treatment that stops the Alzheimer’s process for Brian. And I pray for time so I can take care of him.